Monday, December 27, 2004

Major Changes

I read today that George Carlin was entering rehab because he has trouble maintaining a normal life using vicodin and wine.
Yeah. Uh huh. He loves to poke fun at everything and everyone. He got into a scream fest at a Las Vegas nightclub with the audience and suddenly its rehab time. I can barely understand the goings on in world and to have them simplified by greater minds is a welcome benifit of education. But having the profane and irreverent display no control is unsettling.
I got an e mail from an old friend, and I didnt open it. I hope she understands that I've moved on. Life is short and long distance relationships even platonic ones are difficult. I gotta be me. Like Keith says "Booze!...it really heals."
I listened intently to the preacher sunday when I went with the wife and daughter to their church. I email a couple questions to him about what he said and to my surprise, he answered me! and HE addressed my specific issues. I thought that was pretty cool.
One issue that he mentioned was the dubious issue of free will, which my friend Lynne Vigue, a research scientist at Yale has written about at length. Her position demonstrates the lack of free will.
The church has forever, tried to balance free-will and determinism, and has been as unsuccessful as the atheists. For the inclusion of genetics and social environmental issues always have to be considered.
Bowe

Saturday, December 25, 2004

I aint Drunk

Bitter opposition to the ruling class
I aint got no axe to grind!
I work much harder parked on my ass
In spite of the hills I have to climb

The grace thats given to me
By the soulful Universe.
Would crack a mirror in eternity
do that, or something worse.

Anyway the problems as they come and go
and sometimes end our lives
are our biggest enemy
and our spouses husbands, wives.

I cant look up for fear of down
Im floating up in the thin
Air of today thats full of smoke
and crash and the howling din.

Don't think about me anymore
than you ever used to do
Im so much richer now that Im old
and farther away from you

And loving every minute I spend
doing whatever I want me to
Im not thinking bout much no moe
and Im sho not thinkin bour chu.

These boots is made for hiking
and out on the road I go
Im spending eternities money now
Im in the overflow

Lookout for grey bears, and tangerines
and carney types that sing
and dont be a sucker for a pretty face
or a gilded diamond ring.

Im on the road for forty days
and counting two by two
I was thinkin bout my yesterdays
But I wasnt thinkin bout chu.
no, I wasnt thinking bout chu.

The Missing Link

I got some news today. I noticed that no matter what the philosophers talked about they never mention love. They don't even mention it when they talk about themselves. The conversation can be "self gratification, self effacement", but never any talk about love. You would think that that would be a topic for a philosopher. I agree with a lot of what is said about the ignorance of the masses. I agree that that ignorance works its way into politics and rules today. Mutual affection and admiration tie people together. They bond people and despite what the critics espouse, they create an invironment of cherishing and nurturing from the lowest caste to the highest. Somebody loved me and I loved somebody else. You need it like you need air and food and shelter. Odd that the biggest brains didnt see it.
Bowe

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

My site is messed up

But I have to continue my blog....
Descartes said "Take nothing for the truth until there is clear knowledge that it is such". The Apostle Paul said "search the scriptures for in them men believe they have the truth" One group the religionists say "it's our way or the highway". You either believed or you died. Scientists say " nothing, not even my own axioms are sacred and above scrutiny." One man saw a ball of fire revolving around the earth and the other saw the earth spinning around a ball of fire. Evidences must be looked at to shed light on what is and what isn't. And if sane men are a body of people, then the shared experiences (ie. as touching ice and feeling cold and numb) has to be accepted as a provisional fact. And it has been said that in all truth a measure of error exists, and in all error a measure of truth exists. So then by observation we are discovering the truths about ourselves and our environment. Newton had all the absolutes, Einstein changed that all into reletivism, String theory borders ont he mystical...But we as healthy and inquisitive beings, sentient, look into every matter with tools we create to see deeper and farther and more within ourselves and our world.

In Dreams

I wonder where my profile and the other posts have gone?
I wanted my profile and my last four or five blogs presented on my page.
What is up?

Monday, December 20, 2004

Ernst Haeckels theory

In philosophy of mind, monism is usually contrasted with the dualist position that mind and matter are deeply different. Thus, monism is the claim that mind and matter are essentially the same. However, this 'sameness' has come in a number of different and contradictory varieties. For example, Hobbes felt that the mental is merely an epiphenomena of the physical, thus the physical is the one real substance (Contemporary materialism is also a form of physicalistic monism (see Churchland, 1996). In direct contrast, Berkeley postulated that the physical is just a collection of ideas (hence, idealism) and thus the mental is the only thing that really exists. Finally, there are a number of positions similar to Spinoza's property dualism, often referred to as dual-aspect theory. Spinoza held a position in which the mental and the physical are simply two modes of a more basic substance (it should be noted that strictly speaking, Spinoza was not a property dualist as he held that the mental and the physical were two of a possible infinite number of modes of the basic substance, nevertheless he is typically labeled as one). For Spinoza, this basic substance was God. Thus the only real thing is God, who is neither physical nor mental. Spinoza's position is similar to that of Russell's neutral monism, however the latter is not committed to the belief that a supreme being is the more basic substance.
(from the dictionary of Philosophy)

Before Ernst Haeckel said that evolution was being defeated by civiliztion, (read Christianity) Nietzsche was a monist. The argument, so obvious was in natural selection the fittest survive, and because of the altrusistic nature of Christianity, the strong gave their strength to allow the weak to survive. Having Sympathy' was the catchphrase at the turn of the 20th Century. Nietzsche postulated that
Humans are animals and subject to the laws of evolution. Not even the Darwinists of that period would say this. The dichotomy lay in the operation of Intelligence. Thus the periods' wisdom stated, "that the law of natural selection ended when intelligence began" (John Fiske 'Decent of man'1884)
The theory was that if two tribes of people lived in close proximity, One tribe allowed the weak to perish, and the other used its best efforts to keep everyone around and safe that after a period of time, the first tribe would be the stronger and smarter. Because civilization has ingnored natural selection, it has in a sense come to the edge of destruction. I see this in the political arena where the wealthy may not be the smartest, but they are the dominant group in the realm of decisions. The decaying catholic church is operated by the advise of lawyers these days. The Islamic world is a dark, suppresive, suicidal/homicidal pit of anger, The governments of the free world are for the most part the fronts for the evil wealth that controls the state. Look at russia and putin. The Jews are becoming an important world military power. Civilization has not allowed natural selection to take place. Civilization is on the brink of destroying evolutions crown, humanity.
I personally feel altruism is its own reward. I do positive things for others and enjoy the fact that I can. And I certainly appreciate it when others do positive things for me. It is an emotional lift. That Christianity says the act of giving brings more happiness than receiving is so true from the standpoint of resources.
How much better is to be doling it out when you have an abundance? I enjoy it and it makes me personally feel quite well off. Being a liberal, I think altruism is necessary. I have suffered and maybe I should have been flushed. But people helped me live and to get to a point where I can read and understand philosophy (with tutorial explanations) and come to a decision on the duality of life. There are too many people. Some governments are moving toward fixing this imbalance. Leaning on spirituality INSTEAD of intelligence they plunge into war. Leaning on God they say that what they do is for liberty and holiness. What do they do? Advance the ability of the rich to get richer and the poor to get poorer and the folks who don't belive what they believe get dead. And the antagonizers and the victims are both wrong in what they do because they ignore the basic rules and operating conditions of the Universe. The strong survive to create smarter and stronger. The weak perish.
Now if we were to really discover a way to allow the weak and the strong to live in harmony and conserve the natural resources, we'd have something. If human 'used' their intelligence to that end. It would all come out well. We may be however way past that point. Light years past it in fact.
Bowe

What in the world's

Come all over me?
I aint got a chance
a one in three
aint got no lifts
aint got no wine
but if you give me just a minute, I'll be feelin fine

I am the one
who can take the heat
the one they all say
just cant be beat
I'll shoot it to ya straight
and look you in the eye
so give me just a minute and I'll tell you why

Im a rough boy.

I don't care how you look at me
because Im the one
and you will see
We can make it work
we can make it by
so give me one more minute and I'll tell you why...
Im a rough boy.
(Billy Gibbons, Dusty Hill, Frank Beard)

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Sunday Morning coming down

It could be that reflexes get the best of me. I am a knee jerk reactionary.
and then again I can wait to pee.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

You are the sunshine

of my life

You must have known that I was coming
cause you came to my rescue
and I know that this must be heaven
how could so much love be in side of you....
S.Wonder

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Its Cathartic

Diuretic?
Nietzsche says that the ubermensch should spend all his time stifiling the lower class. They really have nothing to offer.I object of course because as in business, management gets nowhere without labor. Somebody has to clean the greasepits.Although he does say that if a lower class person can by example show that he can climb the ladder he ought to be allowed to. I think Hitler disagreed with that. But then Nietzsche wasnt a Nazi either. He wasn't even an anti-semite, althought his sister, who also was his biographer was and intimated He was. One interesting point he makes is, that if the 'haves' got all the havenots onto an equal plane, what would be use in striving on ones own? Yet he would have the lowest keep trying to change his status.
The object in Christianity is to becoome more Christ-like and live in eternal bliss with Christ forever. The object of the master-morality is to 'will to power' and grow stronger and mightier as you live until you die. To obe top dog and remain on top till ya croak. Marshall Tito did this! Ya can't say the same for Churchill.
Bowe

What I read

What I read

Yesterday. Well It was really so contrary to what I've been accustomed to but I understand people a lot better now. Especially wealthy ones. Nietzsche's philosophy had patterned itself on Shopenhaureism, and Greek Apollianism and Dionysianism. The Strong should get stronger and exploit the weak. Wrongly I imagined the world (well, the western christianized world anyway) had turned from this tack and was more benevolent towards the have nots. I See that more people believe WHOLEHEARTEDLY in the Nietzschian philosophy than ever! On a certain liberal message board that I occaionally frequent, the right wing posters are always calling for the enslavement of the lowest classes. It is as if people are cattle. In a business sense no company can run (well virtual companies can be constructed so that labor is farmed out..) without labor and management working together. Somebody has to assemble the widgets, and somebody has to sell them, and somebody has to manage the incoming and outgoing capital. AAAAAAAAAnd somebody has to get a return on their college investments. But for sheer perspecuity, Nietzsche says that the cattle should get some grass and be left to do what they do. SHOULD a cattle exhibit human superior qualities then he should be allowed to elevate to the human status. And contribute to the power increase of the ruling class. Now i see why Hitler liked him. Although Nietzsche was no Nazi, neither did he hate the Jews.
Bowe

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Bleach yer Teeth

It seems to be the thang to do! Some people carry a torch. I've lived my life for all these years after being rejected by my high school sweetheart. I was entirely enamored of this girl and when we broke off I was utterly devistated. I gave it some time then I hitch hiked to her college in Kingport Va. Tenn. or wherever the hell it was to try and talk her into giving it one more shot. Well she wouldnt see me. She wound up marrying a technical writer from a fairly well to do New Jersey family and they had two daughters. I know this because in 1999 I discovered her name on some High School reunion page and we communicated for these last 4 years. She has a lovely home in the PNW and works for a respected sports equipment firm. She is as lithe as she always was and acerbic when the conversation rolls around to needing that. Anyway I decided to stop communicating with her. If she gets curious about me I have this blog. When I first tole her about it she laughed. So maybe she wont stop by. But hey. It was great to hear she'd done well, that she had her future still bright even after 50 and her kids are turning out to be successful and happy. I wish her all the best.
Its the Lithuanian in me that looks back so often. The English in me could care less. I mean in all relative terms, It wont be long before my big dirt nap, and I wanted to sort out as much as I could of what I have and have not grokked. It seems to me I know a LOT less than I ever realized. But then sometimes when You find out more it kind of ruins your fantasy and your excitement about discovery. Im still reading bout Nitzsche however and its gets more and more betta eva day.
Bowe

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Apollonian vs Dionysian

Its like "well Duh!" for me here. I've always realized the strong want to control everything and everybody, and the weak always look for concessions...but because of my lack of classical education I didnt know an entire civilization lived and died by these ideas, and attributed them to gods. Apollo the greek diety of control, staid, stoic, an historian, a rule maker, artist of past events, architect of buildings commemorating past glory, priest of status quo, versus Baccus Dionysus, the riotous, drunken reveler, moving into the experimental, the unknown, ignoring the rules and creating his own system.
The old saying "a rolling stone gathers no moss" came outta this. It was probably due to the fact that after years of one reigning diety, then the other that the Greeks saw they needed a mix.The conflicts were too hard on the locals. But of course this mentality crept into Christianity. We see the suffering servant coming back as the victorius warrior destroying the 'weaker' sinfulness in the world. Of course we want to maintain our freedom. As wealthy independent capitalists with personal agenda's that seem to be 'for the betterment of mankind'. We do what we do because we 'can'. It is ok to destroy an ancient people, because then they can be free. They need to be delivered from the yoke of tyranny. Tyranny in the form of religious fundamentalism. (huh?) Terrorism in the name of relgion. It needs to be destroyed. Like the comedian said. "Why if Osama hated freedom so much, didnt he attack Sweeden? Why isnt the Netherlands dust?" I understand completely now thanks to Nitzsche why we do what we do. Its not even out of an Imperialist effort to rule the world militarily. The boys can see around the corner. All the nations that are developing technology now are still some years behind us. Fossil fuel is and will be for at least the next 50 years, the predominant form of energy to fuel an economy. When the walmarts are in rural China selling American knick nacks then you will see the war. These folks are not asleep. Thats why all the space development. The capitalists want to have their own private abilities and so Burt Rutan. They arent asleep either. But the thrust of diplomatic efforts to have political stability are just pauses in time to create new ways of domination. The rebels see this and continue to rebel. They realize they cant catch up so they terrorize. Who do the Jew's vist for armament the most? US. why? We have the best and the most outfront groups of technologists working 24/7 to develop defensive as well as offensive weaponry. The present administration seeing Iraq as chumpchange didnt realize that the entire Arabic world the absolute Jew hating sections would attack the USA on this battleground. And even though we've lost 1500, they've lost 100,000. And lots of face. And it will continue until they are all dead. They will not give up, and we will not stop killing them.The Strong versus the weak. And now with the punishment of US soldiers for killing some of them, how will the soldiers fight? As in VietMan we always like to hamstring our armies in the name of justice for what they are sent to do. Kill Arabs. Its totally astonishing. But then the Iraqi's are moving toward freedom. Because if you die to self you live for god. Or so it is written.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Last Rant for a while

Tonight i was reading the bio of Nietzsche again. Mencken was talking about how N. and Schopenhauer looked to the Greeks for an explanation of why they behaved as they did. The lived in a sunny and pleasant land and had a mile climate, why all the interest in Tragedies? The answer that Nietzsche arrived at was the initial domination of followers of Apollo and subsequent followers of baccus Dionysus. Apollo being the staid lawgiving hitory reporting artist and musician, Baccus Dionysus was the active baudy brawler who's followers reveled, to the brink of barbarism. Apollo's followers became the police and the priests and statesmen. Dionysus follower's were the warriors, the artists who captured the movements of the day, and poets who eschewed epic poetry for love thomes. Both gods enjoyed favor at different times, but (as Schopenhauer points out with his declaration that the "will to live" is the ultimate driving force behind mans activities and that those forces created experience and experience created memories...) the Greeks came to the crossroads of knowledge that they needed to balance the two in order to have civilization, and move forward. The Apollonians creating social stability and the Dionysians couriously questioning the status quo and experimenting with new ideas.
External infiltration eventually brought them down. But while they thrived they insisted on sad entertainment in the theatre. Why? Because it reflected life as they understood it. One man (everyman is his own hero) fighting a war against powers that are superior and generally losing. Life for the Greeks was that way.
As an aside, that cartoon of a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other was/is interpreted by Christianity as the struggle for your continued walk in acceptability to god. They may say what they want to, however this idea is rooted in the merger of the church with the state. The gospels reiterate it, but only the later ones. Why? Because after the migrations of the apostle Paul, the greek philosiphy began to be applied to Christian dogma to appeal to the greek thought. That confilct was ages old and simplet to translate from Greek religion to Christianity....
Bowe

I got ANOTHER email!

I havent heard from these people in quite a while, outside of some Amber alerts they sent me, and now Im hearing because of Samuel the prophet of Israel and Saul who (now the last e mail suggested that I am not relating the story correctly) found a witch who (the witch) conjured up the dead Samuel and asked him about the future. Why that person doenst respond in this forum puzzles me. I believe you can post anonymously. But I would think that a zealot would welcome the opportunity to get the message across to me and everyone else that I screwed up.
The words of the Bible say that the witch brought up Samuel from the dead. So right there...It can be done. If you want to piss off Yah Way. The results are: you get the truth, and the truth kills you. Well, at least that was the result for Saul.
And that is why I want to talk about that stuff. For years I 'believed' what I read. Why? Because it was the Bible and that had to be true! Now it is not something to be tossed aside. There are plenty of fine things in there that allow for restful sleep and fewer enemies. But there are words that are simply inflammatory! Dark revelations of the god the Jews worshipped and who, inspite of his claims of love and happiness, killed innocent people because they got in the way. Like who really wrote this? Mario Puzo?
There have been claims throughout history about Biblical events being created in the past to satisfy certain doctrines the church wanted to have come to the fore. Like purgatory for instance. Or the continued virginity of Mary the mother of Jesus, or Ressurrection itself. I don't say carte blanche that this is all rubbish. I want to look into what still exists of the doctrines of the early church BEFORE the additions of stuff designed to fit the general plan for a certain generation. Peter was the first Pope and since him god has ordered popes in succession until today. Their word is infallable when they speak in ex cathedra. When they say they want pasta they are just talking. I laugh when the apologists say the dinosaur period was antedeluvian and that the world is 6000 years old. That would put dinosaurs on the planet walking around eating all the vegetation while Noah built the ark. Doesnt mention that of ALL beasts of the field Noah didnt get a couple of brontesaurus's on the boat. So this kind of illogic has me looking at the issues a little harder. But fundys take note! I didnt say eve ate an apple.
Bowe

One Other issue

I like company. I enjoy visits, and questions, and laughter. We need to laugh more, because its healthful. (endorphins) and like the chicken soup person tole me...its like jogging on the inside. I suppose I enjoy a more varied group than some of the folks I know. I used to post on a site called Psycho Daves. It was exhillerating to talk trash with some brilliant minds. I never realize until recently how much some of these people have contributed to science and philosophy until I googled their names. I was in some really unique company. And there were also some really degenerate folks there too. But I survived those blasts. Psycho Dave closed the place because he believed in freedom of speech and couldnt police the sewage that sought to destroy that venue. There were Terms of Service that were the regulations and some of these anti-freedom (ya suppose it was Osama?) individuals were posting photo-shopped porn that drug from the bottom of the East River, and dredged up stuff that cross the TOS so much it was painful.
Because Nietzsche was pronounced insane from birth his opinions and ideas were held as unreliable. Mencken an advocate of those beliefs and the only english speaking person to accruately outline them for the first time said quite accurately, "whether or not the man was insane, if he said two times two is four, be he insane or the pope, the result was the same."
It is MATH. I was always lousy at it. But the philosophy is mathematically arrived at. AND Nitzsche was musical. I suppose thats my draw. And sexual as well. One thing said of his music was that it had no life. I understand that completely. It is so hard to make the music come to life. You can squirrel away notes and chords, but to arrainge it into 'music' is truly magic. Nietzsche said that a wounded animal will withdraw to a cave to die. That he was living in a cave daily. He was a severe drug addict. At the end of his life injecting all sorts of strange chemical combinations into himself in order to (as he believed) improve his health. Of course this did no more than heighten his insanity, and create the depression that drove him farther and farther away from social conjugality and any objectivity. I believe Mencken was a little nuts too. But his drug was alcohol. Equally devistating, but legal and therefore acceptable.
My drug is existance. Im sure ive changed to materialist, from hippy existentialist.
I've too many tools in my garage, and lots of electronic musical crap. I like waking up. Although Schopenhauer was a pessimest I think my basic motivation is the will to live. Yet being realistic, I understand that I must die. I also understand that Im getting older, and that that fact is more of a certainty than ever before. I get preoccupied with it sometimes because I believe that that is what sent me to Christianity to begin with. Like and old preacher I know he said "were looking for a fire escape". The slave-morality outlined by Nietzsche, and championed by Mencken is a negative force in life. Humility is fine. Humility has its place, but we in Christianity, are running from the very God who says he's saving us. Why? Because we've read the Bible and know how pissed off he can get. AND we've heard for years, "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Nobody wants to be so stupid that if they went down one more notch they'd have to be watered twice a week.
Bowe

Its Amazing!

I guess.
I got an e mail from someone I know correcting me about the Saul/Samuel incident. They neglected to tell me hello, or ask me how Im doing. They quoted scripture and told me they'd pray for me. I am assuming now that I am considered 'apostate' and not able to be approached as a human being but an object of the Protestant work ethic. Yawn. Death dont have no mercy when it comes. Its that particular fanaticisim that I was once involved in, and I think its rather dehumanizing. Of course the Christian zealot would see anything 'human' as "Humanism" and a dogma in opposition to Christian teachings and so ....Straight outta hell.
I forgot that some people are not going to be as interested in philosophy and introspection as I am. And that my sick humor is a wayyyyy over the top. But I've listened to some newer comedians lately and they are far more spaced than me. So in the realm of relativity, I thought that my ideas of discussing the pros and cons of religion and philosophy were rather mainstream. If NO one but Cherub responds than Im ok with that. I'll do like I've done for 54 years. I'll talk to myself about it, but do that here outloud.
Bowe

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

The existence of the Family

This is an opinion and totally unscientific. As is all that I am investigating. I would have done this at an earlier age but I was preoccupied with sex drugs and rock and roll. Unfortunately for you, if you care to read my rants, you get the investigation at its minimal peake. I am losing my faculties rapidly. Some are so diminished that I cannot remember what they were. But I must have had them. I used to be so smart. I know that these things do happen because I recall my first ex wifes lamentation that her pubic region had gotten extremely hairy by her early thirties. It didnt used to be that way...she said.
My father married my mother because she was attractive. He was horney and my mother was gullible. She was the thirteenth of Lituanian immigrants at the turn of the twentieth century and they became a group of coalminers in the eastern Pennsylvania mountains. The Poconos to be more exact. She was a catholic and an alcoholic. My father was the adult child of an alcoholic father he despised and a dominant mother who I believe was perverted. She clung to her relationship with my grandfather because of social pressure and tortured him everyday he lived, drunk or sober. My sister and I were sent to catholic church in our youth, and the attempts to indoctrinate us in catholic dogma were a total failure because there was no follow up at home. My father in his thirties and forties told me that he if he believed anything believed in reincarnation. That we returned at the grass growing above our coffins. Molecularly he may have been on to something. I am an alcoholic and have been without the drug since 1987. However an heart attack and subsequent surgery, diabetes, arthritis, and a host of other infirmaties has brought me to the place of considering my mortality and my philosophical outlook on my internal workings and my external environment. It doesnt get any better either.
I have had 3 wives, the first(eight years together) bore two sons who I dont know. I knew one for seven years and the other for five. We have no contact, and I get periodic phone calls from the younger one who is himself an alcoholic, and yet we do not know each other.
Their mother is an account on an Indian reservation in Houlton, Me. Both boys are gainfully employed presently and raising children of their own. As far as I can decipher. Wife number two was for a total of two months, but produced a daughter who is 16 now and just recently gave birth to a son.
I had no contact with this child until her mother showed up at my door in 2002 and introduced us. I fought for three years to keep her from getting pregnant, and living a life of drudge, but I failed. Too little too late.
Wife #3 and I have been together since 1988 and married since Feb of 1989. We like each other and enjoy each others company although we take different routes when it comes to religion and personal philosophy. Not so differently that we cannot reside together however. Because of the absence of stimulants or depressants and general maturity, we get along famously and we have a daughter who is in many ways, a fabulous example of what genuine love and affection can create in a human.
I am again getting visits from my other daughter and the father of the baby boy. I welcome these visits. I dont desire any control or input into their relationship now so perhaps I can enjoy my other daughter as well as I enjoy my live with me one, now that striving to keep her virginity is a war lost. I have mentioned that I have a sister? I disowned her after my mothers death. Her behavior was so uncivil I figgered I'd be better off not knowing her than, hating her ferever.
Mencken talks in one of his books about how its soooo unusual for people to be married and stay married and actually enjoy the relationship. I agree. Somehow fate came to me with an answer for companionship that fullfilled my every expectation. I got beauty and grace and intellect in the same person. She would tell you it was the work of a god. I say It was lust run rampant at first then cautious observation of her behavior that allowed me to take her in. And I got extremely fortunate in that I made a correct and sober choice of the person I wake up to daily and nightly.
Family is an abstract idea to me. It is rather a loose tying together of strangers with various outlooks and idiosyncracies. It is the cloistering of storms and joy, rage and peace, and the jews loving the arabs in seven rooms. I do fortunately own three vehicles as well. And I know the direction on I 80 to Colorado.
Bowe

Considering the God of the Jews

Wrath was a virtue to the Jews. It may still be. Having a group be 'special' and exclusive has kept the jews together through many centuries of persecution, but why were they persecuted? Because they were obnoxious! I guess. If you read Deuteronomy thoroughly you discover that murdering children who were disobiedient was OK with Yah Way. If a person had sex with an animal not only that person was to be murdered but you had to kill the animal victim of perversion as well. Why? Was that animal gonna spread the news? 10 Commandment? How bout several thousand? How bout a never ending stream of commandments culminating with love Yah way and yer neighbor as yerself. UNLESS you like gettin it on with ole Shep then ya better stay away from yer neighbors. They want to kill you, and yer dog. Ya cant eat shrimps or pigs. Considering that the Islamic dietary rules are the same, we need not worry that Islamic fundamentalists are going to ruin the food supply. They wont go near a Red Lobster, or the Iowa Machine Shed.
Yah Way has people he likes and them he doesnt like. He doesnt like Arabs, although he's the Daddy of us all. Adultresses generally got stoned to death more than adulterers.It was after all eve who ate the fruit and then gave it to Adam who ate and ratted them out. He doesnt like witches, or metaphysicians. They need to die. Nevermind that if one uses a witch or metaphysician for an issue the desired results will occur! (Saul actually brought Samuel back from the dead to inquire) Sometimes it seems the Torah was revised by Edgar Allen Poe. Yah Way is a problem solver. When the Maccabees were surrounded and starving he shows up with oil for their lamps and presumably kosher hotdogs too. He creates divisions among enemies. Hezekaiah was surrounded by Sennachrib and Yah Way just caused divisions in his army and they went away! Sorta like the Arabs hope for the US Army in Iraq.
For my money however is the promises of Isaiah 55 4:13.
Yah Way will abundantly pardon ...IF! He says "my ways are not your ways." But 'if' you read on it turns out that His ways are the same as Our ways. an eye for an eye.
Bowe

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

@ 54 Philosophy 101

Nietzsche at Leipzig read Schopenhauer. He had come to distain the beer drinking, cigar/pipe smoking collegiate crowd arguing the popular philosophies of the day. In the same breath he denounced acetics as satiated and cowards. Twain in his last years painted a picture of Yahweh as an extremely violent, unjust, and unsavory character. Punishing children for the offenses of the parents, and the populace for the offenses of the rulers. Schopenhauer said that the 'will to live" was a pre-eminent motivation for the existence of man and his emotions, and that the perpetuation of 'living' ie. procreating and eating and wearing clothing moved him from cave man to civilization.
Nietzsche was eschewing the mood altering crowd for the benifit of clairity. He said that anyone who altered their consciousness with the drug alcohol couldn't understand his philosophy. He championed Schopenhauer and then villified him. Some of the most poignant times in my life have come from reading the passages of men who were not believers in a particular god, and yet saw truth and beauty. I also have had poignant moments reading passages from the Christian Bible and realizing that if certain premises worked joy followed. Schopenhauer said there is more pain in this life than there is joy. Nietzsche agreed. I think my personal pain just comes from making bad decisions and then having to live with them. Like Schopenhauers man, I will...like Nietzsche's Ubermensch I adjust.
I have listened to Christian apologists rant on the questions regarding death destruction and misery in the world. How it is 'original sins' result. We have had Christ on earth. We supposedly have Christ in heaven. The apologists will tell me that Sudan is the result of Original Sin, and the lack of mans reliance on God to stop that suffering and rape and murder.
I believe we are seeing the future. For no kind loving god let even that kind of behavior go on long in olden times. Here and there you find in the writings, "He heard the cries of his people..." and he answered them with deliverance. Haiti, Africa, etc.... All wealths of sorrow and death, misery, and destruction. We presently have a government headed by a religious leader. He claims Christianity to guide him. He says he has his ear attuned to Gods speaking. His focus seems to be the destruction of Islam. He says that its the liberation of a nation of people. However anyone with even an Idiots ability sees that all Islamic countries are meeting him on this battlefield that they openly claim is a religious war.
Schopenhauer said that the 'will' not only drove early man to plant seeds, hunt for animals, and learn to communicate, and 'reason' but it led him to 'remember' and he was also affected by 'jealousy' rage, murder, and hatred, as well as fondness, recognition of cause and effect, and sentimentality.
Anyone can blame the good and the bad on a god. Since all the dieties are invisible and silent to the masses, he/she/it will not protest the grievances. It is equally easy to blame man for not attuning his ear to the will of god and changing outcomes of disaster and hatreds. Again the gods are silent and not appearing. To have a nation, prosperous, and thriving, and say it is because of God's blessings that it is so, and to attempt to subjugate the religious culture of nations that posess the raw materials for the propogation of that prosperity is hypocracy at its zenith.
Like the young Nietzsche I am learning to allow myself to dispel the myths. Like the aging and bitter Twain, I see that pain follows pain. Ken Burns in his biography of Twain says he believed that Twain believed in the Christian god, but was disappointed and disenfranchised by what he saw ane read and how he (yaweh) operated.
If I am going to defend this god I have to say like Twain that when you come to where you are you want to look back, go back to that beginning and revist so to see how and why you are where you are. To make some sense of it. Twain said "its not that the world is filled with fools. Its just that the lightening is not properly distributed."
Bowe

Darfur

I probably didnt even spell it correctly. But the Sudan is a terrible mess. Danforth said today that no approach, not the carrot, not the stick, (?) approach worked. well we need ubermensch now more than ever.....

Monday, December 06, 2004

the theory

Around the turn of the nineteenth century and as a result of all that went on during that century philosophic discussion and theory was rampant. Removing the stigma of puritanism, and delving into the real reasons why people did what they did and are the way they are was everywhere. Nietzsche had written much about the ubermensch which was not a 'superman' as we think of superman but an intellectual superior who would at the behest of society rise to the top of all the classes and rule, cleaning the gene pool of the elite, and creating a wider gap in class strata.
The backlash to this thinking was Christian altruism, Marxism, National Socialism, and eventually the outcome was the capitalistic rule of the western world and the socialistic communisim in the slavic states and the far east. The naieve Nietzsche was convinced that the intellectual with his scientific, cultural, and educational abilities, ubermensch would be welcomed by the ruling class and given status as rulers. And exactly the opposite happened. In my recollections, it has, in this USA been the puppet of money, and the mouthpiece of industry and/or organized labor, who has had the political clout. The superior intellectual who has esteemed himself higher and therefore more deserving of special status has had to wrestle the mob with his/her art and science to achieve personal wealth, and then create a world where they could be on top, but never in control of the outcome of humanity. For as crass and unimaginative as the ruling powers are, their ends remain the same. Continued capitalistic domination of wealth and the subjugation of the masses for their personal comfort and/or historic recognition. Marxist/Lenninist philosophy being no different, and historically more punative to the masses via political purges and the paranoia of their leadership as they grow older and wealthier. Today's enemy is more visible, 12th century religious belief and its fanaticisim. However todays western ruling class, in order to control their own, pay homage to a 2000 year old myth (adjusted by centuries of revision to fit circumstances) and exercise control by touting the rewards after the indivduals demise.
None of this reveals the truth of what or who man is, what the boundaries of his/her abilities are, or what could be, as far as life, and peace, and the pursuit of happiness for the individual. Satisfied with riches, the ruling class looks to science, the occult, or religion for length of enjoyment, with as little intellectual stimulation as they can absorb, but physical health and pleasure as the ultimate goal. The drug companies, card readers, and priests, preachers, dive for the almighty dollar/yen/euro and pant as the wealthy throw it their way, so that they can do as the payer does. They desire to enjoy the temporal amenities as long as they can physically do so. Capeable of great love, poetry, perhaps even more metaphysical abilities than are exhibited in all history, all this is trodden over in lieu of a cocktail and sex in an aesthetically appealing environment. Or maybe even in isolation with a laptop counting pennies in a commodities market.
Addressing the suffering of third world countries and their particular plight, some coin is dropped to appease the leadership of the those places, and the money is generally never used to reach the suffering, because in my 54 years the call is still quite loud on the television...send money, adopt these unfortunate children, stop the starvation in these drought plagued areas. Do the rulers of the prosperous industrialized nations move armies and wealth to bring democracy and stablity, and a basic nutritional, medical and sane life to these places? No. Unless there is some raw natural material that they can exploit. Do you imagine the English would have ever sacrificed soldiers in South Africa unless there were diamonds there? Austrialia was a penal colony. Jung and Kant in the nineteeth century recognized the debt to the servants and tried to ease their plight. Now that philosophy is referred to as blatant liberalism and eschewed and rejected as doling out handouts to the ungrateful and unwilling. As military technology expands, personal freedom will disappear. Were seeing that now as the vice tightens. The left was depressed due to the outcome of the last US presidential election. But they werent destroyed. 3 percentage points were the margin of victory of the right. But even if the left had succeeded in winning the election the agenda would have been the same. A different diplomatic approach with blame laid on the right, would maybe have built a coalition that would have changed the configuration of soldiers in the middle east, but western domination of that region would have continued under an easier softer PR.
Maybe the rebellion of nature is the only hope mankind has to renew the gene pool. The seasons are drastically changing. And so few are paying any attention to it. (Im speaking in relative terms). Because man has historically sought personal comfort and gain, at the expense of really discovering his true nature, his real place on the planet, and his relationship to it and each other, maybe the planet is going to do something about it. Because as it has been, and always will be, (as the man said) "The universe will provide."
Bowe

Sunday, December 05, 2004

No doubt about it

Religion is the business of capitalists who cant do any real work. Those who need a god to recover from alcoholism, crack addiction, gambling addiction, sex addiction, etc...food...boredom. Can pick a god any god and if it gets their minds off their obsessions then that god is real. Never the less religion is a job,a business, and a huge part of the american economy.
I've met several "Pastors in the last ten years. Some in that span heve said so much contradictory stuff that if you call them on it they say "what? I never said that." All one has to do is listen and remember. There is a group locally that conisists of 4 family members. They play bluegrass music and although I havent gone and listened to their services per se, I heard the preacher expound that "he doesnt have to do any work. Christ does all the work. All he does is play the music and preach the gospel." He stands at the courthouse with archaic signs with obscure references to biblical characters and his pet peeve is womens lib. He forces his wife and adult daughters (also members of the bluegrass band) to consistantly wear skirts. While the skirts are attractive, other wardrobe would be as modest and apropo. (ie koolats..SP?) He wears a straw hat when hes walking the sign beat. He invited me to dialogue with him via e mail however all his responses are automated.
It is fashionable now to post Crosses in the fields of church property and decorate those crosses with cloth or as in the style of one local foursquare church nail huge letters to the cross saying "I voted for you." I didnt know I was running however and did I win?
Only time and death will tell.
Heaven or Hell?
Dying will not tell cause NOBODY has returned to write a best seller about how great it is to be in heaven. we do however have the holy scriptures.
And we have Bush. the crusader. I wonder how those free livin Irakis are holdin up tonight? Ya reckon their murderers are imagining they are Jewish sympthaizers?
That of course makes them a target for death immediately. These religions clash.
Although they descend from the same sources....you can read about Exodus in the Koran. Well its sunday and I had to work. I also had to give my religious rant.
I believe I have a soul. I dont think its a 'tapped' area in my being however. Sometimes sentimentality, fear for a loved one, or great love or hate move it.
But Im bettin its all in my mind. I restrain myself from doing evil deeds because I by experience know that consequences of your actions follow you forever. I m doing that right now in my life. Yet doing what is 'written' aint so groovey either.
Most of the biblical heros are initially scoundrels and they really dont stop scoundrelizing. Although they say they quit, here and there.
I just so want to isolate.
Bowe

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Midweek Rant

Well
another unexciting installment of my blog. Heh. Im in a raging depression. Im totally wracked by the activities of my non custodial daughter and her vacated brained mother. Her mother created an atmosphere of permissiveness for the daughter to dwell in. Now she's 16 and has a baby. A Baby with a Baby. The mother approves! Even allows them to live as man and wife in her basement. My daugter has an excellent voice, classically trained, and plays flute and piano very proficiently. Now she's planning on going to cosmotology school. Maybe.
Im trashed. Its a waste. I met the father and the baby on Monday when she showed up here at my place unannounced. The last time I saw her I had confronted her about her sexual behavior and drug use at a counseling session at the YWCA. She refused to answer me and walked out. That was Jan 10th 2004. At that time her mother told me that a relationship my daughter had (sexual) with another 16 year old was 'OK'.
These are the never ending consequences of a life lived via alcohol. Decisions I made drunk that haunt me all the days of my life. That and the lousy non relationship I have with my two sons. I mean. I made my bed and now here I lie. I know that it will eventually pass, but I cant stand the immediate loss. I cant even express to myself the unimaginable success of my daughter as a mother. At 16 and self will beyond riot. I'm certain readers will say "ahhh get over it its life." Well that child... a boy. Will he have a life? That above all else is a major concern to me. This created being is so harmless and innocent now. But being parented by these two brilliant specimens? And under the direction of a screwball who must want to relive her childhood vicariously via my daughter?
Her mother is a Dutch Reformed Christian. A choir director and a musuc instructor. And a pathological liar and multiple personality. Sober I wouldnt have given her ten seconds notice. But we met when my guru was Budwieser... Regrets? I have to take tranq's to get to sleep. I married TWO pathological liars in succession. Both while I was under the influence of alcohol. (on a regular daily basis) The upside? My present wife (of 17 years) is honest and we've never seen a drop of liqour pass our lips. She is totally trustworthy. And the daughter I have at home is fabulous. Beautiful, Intelligent, and musical as well.
But the consequences of my behavoir will follow me to the grave. I cant escape the consequencs. And its too sad sometimes to bear.
I've been sober since Dec 26th 1987. I've had no money, lots of money, an heart attack, kidney surgery, and I deal with diabetes every day. I just let my inhibitions down as a youth, and did what felt good. There may be an upside to all the other too. I just havent seen it yet. Right now Im in a raging depression. Writing this is good therapy.
Bowe