Monday, August 30, 2004

Do as we say

danger
there is danger.
but act normally.
just be vigilant
send us your children and the money you have to pay
send us the money
there is danger
dont think
be normal
God is on our side.
be careful
but be normal.
be normal act naturally
but there is danger.
there is danger.
it is dangerous like an orange.


Lets all get up and dance to a song
that was a hit before your mother was born
though she was born a long long time ago
your mother should know.
sing it again


there is danger
there are bad people who want to hurt you around'
but we are protecting you
send us your children
send us your money
act normally
go about your daily business
but beware.
there is danger
out there.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Six Months off

He blew up the last stone this morning. It was odd for me cause the anesthiesiologist gave me some differrent stuff than the others did. No explanation why either. I just got like a real head rush from the other stuff then passed out, this stuff was like someone gently filling my ears with fluffy cotton...then I was waking up. Its like time travel. One minute yer here and the next yer there.
Musically I've just about finished 12 songs with lyrics. Im gonna master a demo here and get REAL singers to sing em down in LeClaire at Mikeys. Some rock, one is a ballad, and one is straight blues. Instrumentals are NOT getting it for moi. I guess I suck. I though contusion was light years ahead of anything I'd previously done. But nobody else does. Im no judge I reckon.
I can use his studio to get the musical tracks laid down and then have the singers posess copies of the demo until they know how theyre gonna do em and on one session lay it all down. (Hopefully)
I guess I gotta have the words come out. Mikey my drummer liked "Lucille" a song I wrote in 91. He liked it right off. (ITs on a cassette I sold locally) I had one of the BEST Iowa musicans Bob Dorr play stuff off of Santa at the Gulag at the University of Northern Iowas sunday night music show that he hosted and I got great responses and sold CD's.
I need to do more promotion too. Im fouindered. But my health is improving and I want to do stuff again.
Larry Jarrett and Reid Kolsrud are former co-workers of mine. Reid had an heart attack five weeks before I did in 2002. Hes never been back to work. Larry was diagnosed with stomach cancer in May and told a month ago that its in his liver and pancreas too... Were having a benifit for them Oct 9th Maybe I can get Tim to play a couple songs with me and mikey can drum.we'll see... Its really not enough time to work up some sets with the way we wind up practicing....
Bowe

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

What I wouldnt give

for a couple things.
My wifes ministers wife had a vein in her head that exited blood get blocked by a blood clot. Shes stable and in serious condition in Rockford Illinois. They told me the term but I forgot it. its not and anyurism its the other thing. Shes only in her late 40's and an extremely demure person and very sophisticated, and caring. We all look forward to her recovery, and the sooner the better.
I have a ton of stuff to do tomorrow and its posed to rain. I have to get more wood in and a friend cut me some. I jes gotta go get it. Then I need to use another friends splitter. OR rent one. I think I'd rather rent one in case it breaks.
Thursday Lithotripsy on the last stone on the right kidney. 6:30 am.
Friday night back to work. I just worked 7 straight days with one 24 hour break from Fri am to Sat am and the rest 11 hour intervals between 12 hour shifts. I even wound up leaving late tonight. But such is the life of the wandering inspector. I have sugar free icecream. It cant be eaten in mass quantities but Im gwine have me a bowl heah in a minute.
Tim liked 2 of the songs I de/reconstructed. 2 out of 5. He needs better help than what I can give him.
In October were having a benifit for two co workers who are ill. One has veins to his heart that just keep on plugging up, and the other has stomach cancer thats spread to his liver. Im going to help cook one of four hogs for the event. I wanted to play music that day/night but I cant put a band together sick. Its just toooo stressful and I m getting short winded again......
Bowe

Monday, August 23, 2004

And I've got such a long way to go....

Tuesday. 12 more hours in the facktory. Wed. chores. Thursday surgery. Friday night the start of 3 night shifts. Im just tired right now and going to sleep.
Bowe

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Ah got to ride like the wind

and ah've got such a long way to go... to make it to the border of Mexico....
I started working Wed. night at 6 Pm and I'll be done Tues at 6 pm with 12 inbetween each shift to eat and sleep... but ahhhh the dough!

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Just when you think its

working, you find you might have to re type a blog.
The thing glitches.
They you discover it did work.
well
While Ive been sitting around waiting to pee I managed to put music to my brother in laws poetry. He sang the basic melodies and I put chords and in one case strings to some of the stuff. Its hard to hear What he wants so I experiment and ask him questions. He has this Fostex 8 track thats pretty easy to use. I been experimenting. He wants to ship it back and forth with experimental tunes on it. Im cool wid dat. He's got this song Pauline. I just about have it done then he lays this monster bitch song on me about his return to his hometown. He said the guitar is mute and goes duh duh duh duh ....???
Bowe

Just when you think its safe

To maybe imagine that your ordeal is over and done then they lay on you the lines..."well after the NEXT operation we'll see about finishing up the other side.
KIDS,
Dont get kidney stones.
I gotta go back on the 26th and theres ONE more stone up yonder they have to pluck. I saw my Xraze yesterday and there were chips in the tube. He said he'd pull out the stent next thursday as well. (a week from thurs) Maybe that will bring shit back to normal a bit. This started MAY 3rd. I hate pissing myself. I feel like Im 90 fucking years old.
But I did buy myself a T shirt that says " Im in a promising local band"
sniff sniff... I smell piss... its pervasive.Im
MAD! I tell you! "There! There, rip up the boards! therein lies his hideous heart!" (EA POE)
I cant even enjoy Malcom on Sunday nights....
Bowe

Sunday, August 15, 2004

I got the fever

Again last night. Couldnt work today. I went to the docs and they did tests. More bacterial testing. I gotta go again tomorrow. Its 60+ miles round trip. I know I'm whining. But I cant stand being sick feeling for so long.........

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Dad

Was an only child who gramma doted on for years. He was an 'A' Student everywhere he went to school and had pretty close to total recall. Mom was the thirteenth of 13 Lithuanian immigrants but she managed to get born on US soil. She told me her brothers used to kick her ass if they caught her talking to men when she was in her late teens. They'd evidently slap the shit out of her for the slightest offense. She scrubbed floors during the 'great depression' of the 1930's for nickles and all the family pitched in.
My dad on the other hand just went to school and had a paper route. My grandfather was a drunk and my grandmother a nurse. She always had work. He seldom had work. My father told me once he hated my grandfather for being such a slacker. I m sure thats one of the reasons he told me later in his life that he hated me. But there were sooooooo many reasons.
My dad and mom met in 1942 in a bar in Philadelphia and drank and danced their way into matrimonial bliss after knowing each other for a week. The got married in Maryland. It was a 3 day residency and they got a room. I didnt come along until 1950. Mom was catholic and dad had to convert to marry mom. He agreed that I should be named after a saint when I was born and they gave him a book to look at that held names of famous catlick saints. He settled on King Edward "Confessor" His middle name was 'edward' so they named me "Rex Edward". Fuckin thanks a lot. I got in lots of fights over the name "Rex" usually a dogs name. But now a days I could care. But growing up it was a problem. It didnt have a real identity stuck to it like a Paul, or John, or Dick, or Harry... It was exotic and thats where in rural America ya didnt need an exoitc name. We lived in the rural Midwest. Moline as a matter of fact. Out by the airport. I swam naked in creeks, played baseball, caught crawdads, and learned to kiss at age 5. We had these twins living next door who liked me and kissed me all the time. I was cute as a lil kid. I got in trouble a lot for kissing the girls. I got chewed out at school, and at church, and in the hood. But damn I liked girls and kissin em was soooooooo cool. In 1959 we moved from rural Moline to downtown cause my dad was having a house built in East Moline (his first new house, it cost 15,000.00 an average sum for that era) It was unpretentious and had a hip roof. French windows (fake lil panes) and a lot that was like 100'X 150'. He liked it. He wasnt there much cause he'd joined the DOD as a systems analyst (computers the coming thing) and was all over setting up programs in COBAL and FORTRAN and what ever else he did. Mom Jes drank and drank and drank. Miller High Life I recall. We lived at that address in East Moline until 1966 when Dad was transferred to Joliet, Illinois. I had learned to play guitar and I had put together a band, when the news came. Oh well.
Joliet was loaded with hispanics. I'd had a lot of african americans but little contact with hispanics. The hispanics in Joliet were beatle haircut, beatle high heel shoe, beatle suit wearers. I was ordered to wear short hair cause long hair was for queers. I got into a band as a singer but I really sucked. I was still learning guitar when Hang on Sloopy was popular. I wanted to learn some "Boogie Chillun" type music but mom and dad would not allow nigger music in the house unless it was Chubby Checker. Who I thought for all the world sucked. I wanted to play guitar blues in the key of E major. Everyone made fun of me because a true bluesman played only in 'G' or 'C'. And they made fun of me cause my name was Rex. and I wasnt italian. However I got on well with several Italians in Joliet and we had fun when we got to play. Then In the spring of 1967 I was told we were moving to Washington, D.C. cause my dad was gonna work for the Pentagon. Viet Nam war and stuff and they were updating the digital communications like mad.
Someone had put a roomsize computer on a chip as small as a tie tack. My dad had one. Things were changing and we were gonna be there for it. So that spring we moved to Annandale Va. on Glebe Road and I went to Wakefield for a semister. The reb kids hated yankees, and transient people so It was cold and nasty. I did get to see the Yardbirds and Janis Joplin. I learned about hashish and marijuana and EYE magazine and politics. I knew I was in a world of shit cause I didnt get good grades and I was becoming draftable....
Bowe

Saturday, August 07, 2004

My daughters birthday

And were going to have sugar free cake and icecream.
I had to pass on my July mortgage payment. I've been payin on this house since 1999. I got a call from one of their Dun People, a Shirley Wallach. She was calling to harass me. It was plain and simple. She began her conversation with a lie. She said I'd not made a payment or arraingements for over 60 days on my mortgage. I explained that I'd made arraingements, and we'd put that payment at the back and were keeping on. Then she said that she didnt see any arraingements on her screen. Then she said she did. slowly, enumerating what my wife had said in two phone calls. I got irritated with her and said that she was harassing me. She said she was JUST DOING HER JOB. I explained that I'd been ill and she said "my you really are disturbed" and continued to 'verify information' when she asked me my address I said I hadn't moved, she said she'd write that I refused to give her that information.
I located the name and address of the CEO (corporate address) and sent him a letter of complaint. Sometimes this does good sometimes it doesnt. The last one I wrote was when I got screwed by my mothers old folks home and drove 48 hours to save her from bein told she was gonna get put out on the street. Then I found out that they had the wrong person. So I wrote the CEO of the company and after 60 days they reimbursed me for my time and expenses. I was glad. So sometimes it works, sometimes it don't.
If I wasnt doing this nightly intravenous injection thing and having all the trouble I've been having with my kidneys, I prolly would have given her a pass. But she called and woke me with this harassment, and I aint been feeling good lately. Plus when she saw she'd gotten my goat, she pressed it sadistically. That always enrages me. It pisses me off that dunners actually like what they do.
Oh well.
Put a new song on page Two of my website. Its a Hannah inspired song (she likes the sitar) and its wierd enough I should have waited and included it on the CD. But its on the webpage so go listen. its wierd. I got the drums to sound wierd by accidently semi unplugging the output switch on the 707II. Mistakes can be kewel. It gave me a beat with a horn. ala slash.
Bowe

Friday, August 06, 2004

Last Gaspar

Really Really Really
been so nice
so nice
so nice to be
to be with you to
be near you
to be near you always
and forever.
I can tell
You can see
I love you
I can tell You love me.
Its been
really really really
nice to be
near to you
cant you see?
I can
I can and I do
and I said I do before. I
said I do
a thousand times
but only meant
it once.
Everything that comes unraveled
came unraveled.
Instead of dying
I lived.
I lived and Im so glad
Im so glad
Im so glad glad glad
cause its been
really, really really,
nice
nicer than nice
to be with you.
Bowe

On the

There on the sidewalk. Sits my fried mind
I cant believe that I take these issues so hard to heart.
when I wake up all I do is begin to make
the start of the daytime start. Or start off the night time.
going to my little job. somewhere in the heart of the USA.
And "called the heart" cause it sits in the center upper right hand quadrant
if you view a map.
If you take a nap.
they call you a sap
and say your poetry is sucky.
sheesh
going to see the doctor, or the lawyer, or the Priest, Bill collector, and I find
there's my mind
frying on the sidewalk.

doodley do do do
bimility bam bam boo I know it somehow
somehow its true.
Bowe

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Read Sock

Penn Jillette has written a book called "SOCK" I have it and its fabulous. He is a monster intellectual. Amazon has it for 13.00 paperback. He is also an outstanding illusionist with his buddy Mr.Teller.
Went to the hospital last night and after a diagnosis of 'smouldering infection" got fitted for a saline Lock and got my first dose of another antibiotic. Heres lookin at chew sweettart.
Maybe THIS will end this bullshit. Maybe not. I had great dreams. Huge panoramic vistas with thousands of characters to interact with. Im always so self reliant in dreams and then Im so inept. Nazi's are everywhere, friends pop in and out. Im younger and thinner, and faster. I dream in technicolor and shades of gray. I was climbing a coal pile on a white palomino in one dream and lookin down into a wooded valley with a stream in the middle.In another I was eating at a company picnic, roast ham, huge carving knives, and bowls and plates of food. There were garages with young people in them just standing around smoking cigarettes, staring blankly at each other and outside. I was in the depths of the factory making important decisions, but what we were producing? I havent a clue. I dreamnt a General Manager who I've interacted with periodically for about 6 years now was in a wheel chair. But it wasnt permanent. In fact he got out of a van in the chair and then stood up and went to dinner....The sky was gray and smokey. I dreamed of people I haven't seen in 40 years, talking to me about issues I knew about but I dont know how. It all made sense in my dreams. I love to shut my eyes and go to those movies. Im so grateful that my mind does this for me. I remember a long dark stretch when I was drinkin a lot that I never dreampt at all. It was black unconsiousness, then stark daylight. Another day at a dreary job, and another pile of unpaid bills, more alcohol and then stark blackness and seniconscious daylight. I love to dream because when I awake I know I have a place to return too that I can run and laugh and fear and love in with no real ramifications, and if it all goes bad as it did one night I dreampt that I was lost in Seattle and my high school sweetheart abandoned me downtown, I woke up in my bed in Iowa. Home of corn. safe. I hadnt screwed up anything except the sheets. I gotta be on this drug for 10 days and hopefully it will vanquish my smouldering infections...............
Bowe

Monday, August 02, 2004

Monday Mornin ya sure look fine

well
its been an eventful weekend of songwriting and fever.
Tim sent me acapella versions of his new songs and I worked acoustic chords in the mix and remixed them and sent them back to Austin so he could listen to the changes. He'll be up in a couple weeks. I keep getting these fevers and the latest I've heard is the last cultures they did on the bacteria in my blood showed that none of the antibiotics they'd been givin me affected em except one. So this afternoon I get that one. Intraveinously. Ye haa. But anything to stop these horrible freezing shakes and melting sweats! my god its not gotten below 70 farenheit anywhere I've been and for a couple days I felt like I was in the arctic! But today Im cooled and comfortable and ready to go get mah medicine.


Two songs that Tim wrote really captured me, One being "she got a lil way roun me" and the other is called " a long time ago" he has an older tune he wants to redo called "hope" that is haunting. I still havent figured out who he's aiming this at however, but hey, Im just the guitar player. What do I know?
BOWE