I had power enough

to get you to come. But I didn't have enough to make you stay. To lead me on so seriously, was cold and bitter and evil in its way. While the black stars swirl on edge of the sky, its all at night; the owl in flight; the birds of prey, they hide in the day.
Talons deep in the flesh of my heart. You did it with your eyes the flesh started to part. You came to collect all that you got, and now in those talons that flesh begins to rot.
Rots right down to the bare bare bone
All I ever said was
"leave me alone"
All I ever wanted was
"to be on my own"
All I ever said was
"Leave me alone"

I had power enough to make you leave
but before you went I had my heart on my sleeve
I had my fingers inside
of a warm rose's bed
like a bird in the night
like a bird of the dead
It rotted right down to the bare bare bone
all I ever said to you
was just
"Leave me alone"

Bowe

I got

angry at work tonight. I was told I had no credibility with my peers. I was PUT in this job cause all the previous people were stoned and failing the drug tests. I reminded my critic of that fact. He later recanted and apologized. But we have a communications system and I use it. If I have to be critical about an issue I am. So far 2 people have whined that I have no right to say what I do. I told the big boss when I left last night, that I was through writing in the book. He told me to let it go. He said I needed to write in the book.
Older workers genrally dont make waves. They ride em out and retire. The unfortunate part of 'inspecting' a product is you have to be critical. We have criteria we said we'd meet. If we do less, we lie. If we lie, we lose business. I don't want that. I want it to be there for me if I live long enough to make it to retirement. Sad time in my existence to get principled. But it happened. I have a vested interest these days. Its not penny ante. I honestly dont care if everyone in that dump hates me. Im gonna do the right thing. I love sleep, and good dreams.
Bowe

I've got no time for you right now

Don't bother me.
Ahh George Harrison. I always thought he looked so 'sage-ey' with the thick beard and the thick long hair. I realized he was some version of anti-orthodoxial Xtianty and heretical Hinduisim. But "HE's SO Fine" du lang du lang du lang,
"Wish he were mine" du lang du lang du lang. Was subliminally originated to get the listening public TO WANT him. (George) Cause like everybody else wanted Paul. I particularly wanted John, but just because of the way he held his mouth when he sang. It was horselike in its grace and gentility, then it morphed into human with that odd smile. Odd because he was such an angry person. downers do that to you. Make you angry. Look at George Carlin! Angry. vicodin. red wine.
But it was all an Illusion! Its like living with a plumber. Hes a great guy, and fine with the tools. But never gets out of "Smallville" because he knows too much about too many. In "Metropolis" the plumbing is done by conglomerates.
While my guitar gently weeps. Theres something in the way she moves. but its gonna take money, a whole lot of spending money. Lil Darlin the smiles returning to their faces...it seems like years since its been clear. And I've got no time for you right now. Dont bother me.
Bowe

It doesnt bother the Congress

even a little bit to change social security. To dip into it. To offer it to second cousins of second cousins. To cut benifits to the man who has payed in for 50 years. Congress has its own plan.
It doesnt bother them to change medicaid or medicare. They have their own plan. They can tax you beyond 50% of your income. They just do it in increments of 2% here and 3% there. They will get their money. They are the aristocracy. They rule. Look carefully at your utilities bill. Read the newspaper when the headlines talk of re-assessing your property. No new tax. Just a HUGE new re-assessment.Most of the politicians from your state live in the Bahamas, or Jamaica, or Rural Virginia or Maryland. Most of them are lawyers.The balance are CEO's. Standing board members or board members who have 'stepped down' for a season to serve.
They get the best of everything. The wage earner on the other hand gets nothing. A wage. A taxed wage. A taxed to death wage. When a congressman/Senator retires he gets a huge portion of his present salary as his retirement. some get 100% They fly free, they are chauffeured everywhere, and eat free wherever they eat. If the court of George the IIIrd were offered what a congressman gets today he would have lived better than the king.
Bowe

I'm fairly certain

Blogs are for people who like to hear themselves talk. Im my best friend. I'd say my wife was but we differ politically and religiously. She's a close second. But I like me a lot.If I had a friend like me I'd hang out with him. I mean he'd be funny, serious, cynical, dumb, have some insight, have no clue.... But I don't know anyone at all like myself. Maybe thats why I can't keep a band together. Im far too wierd. I'd even do cover tunes. But nahhhh. Why. All the younger kids I meet that play are too scared theyre novices, and/or I dont do death Metal. I really like Marines. I found that out recently. Most of the people who I hang with at work are former marines. And one in particular is extremely smart! I know what youre thinking. But its true. He's a country western man however. Thats a problem for me.
We are going through a lot of changes at work and some will be very good. I'm going to be challenged to do some physical work that I haven't done in 10 years. I had the heart attack. I hope I can do it. I told them I'd try. I'd like to get the raises. I want to get more physical. I'm losing weight a lot and the walking will really take it off. But being diabetic Im prone to cramping a lot and when I get em I get doublebarrelled ones.
I just want to get to retirement. Then if I live, have enough money to do a few things. Not worry. It's possible. It's not out of the question. I'm not accustomed to the cuts our company is making to save money but a healthier me now means I'll have money for health care 15 years down the road, if I live that long. I don't expect to but I'm gonna try to. 8 more to retirement. 8 exactly this week. Our company is instituting a medical saving accouunt within IRS rules. If I can start contributing and NOT HAVE TO USE it now, it will accrue interest and be there when Im out and away from work as I know it. I'll probably do something but just not this. Maybe I'll be a walmart Janitor. Now theres an aspiration.
Bowe

Butt Can Eye

Say it another way?
I was in Toronto once
and a nice lady asked me to paint her kitchen for a few dollars.
She trusted me, but the paint didnt cover.
she was english
and I was an american and
we were in toronto in Yorkville.
It was not love
it was not tenderness
it was strictly
business.
although she smelled delicious
and had HUGE apples
and twins.
I was there to paint the kitchen.
The quakers had sent me over
it was their idea of work for shelter.
but
the paint was watered wayyyyyyyyyyy
down and
wayyyyyyyyyyy too light fot the wall.
It would have taken
7000 coats to do the job.
I was soooooooooooo
depressed.
She was thirties
and beautiful
and English.
I was an American in
Toronto Ontario
h3b 8r9
Tore
ronto
tonto.
There I was again
with NO
way OUT.
Jean Paul Sarte.

Mother

What a week so far. Oh well it doesnt resume till Friday. Thats the break. I been so down with this bruised lung thing. I mean now Im hackin and its like hackin sand. Real explosive. Real catches you off guard. Man.
But If I name that disease I get the antidote?
"Yes sir Mr. Thornebow, thats the prize!"
well, ...uh... its ....uh.....chlorophoreisa Paratonoxitis?
"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Oh were so sorry sir.. But damn that was close...attendants? roll his gurney out please..."
Thank you firesign theater.....
I need a fix cause Im going down
down to the bits that I left uptown
I need a fix cause Im going down...

pardon me roy? is that the cat who stole your new shoes?

choo choo me home homey.

If I just
If Id have said it better...
If I'd maybe put it this way....
Maybe I should say it another way....
say it another way, say it another way.....
thanks mike.
for knowing what you know
the universe will provide.

Ich bin habe
maybe
I
should
say
it
another
way?
Kronologic fisburn pornographic priestess
man
you
shoulda
seenem
kicken
edgar
allen
poe.
can
I
say it
another way?
say it
another way?
say
it
another
way?
Theosophy
and sphylis
combined to form
Theosophsyphillic Logic Knowledge
but
can I
say
it
another
way?

its
embryonic
in its intent
and
its
mature
in its
themes
it fucks with
my dinner
and invades
all my
dreams.
The Universe will provide
but
can
I
say
it
another
way?
say
it
another
way?
say
it
another
way?

Imagine (Part Two)

Samuel Taylor Coleridge rewrote the world. He used his imagination. It was not fraudulent, or libelous. It was his perception. Some folk when they see the sun rise do not see a golden orb emitting rays in the canvas of sky. They see a chariot pulled by Angelic Unicorns and cherubs trumpeting 'Holy is the Lord'. Handel saw this stuff this way too. Matthew saw Jesus like this. So did Luke and Paul and John and Mark. No ordinary person. No ordinary spokesman. John sat down and Looked at the Jewish Prophetic utterance and said "wow, Jesus said this." or "wow, Jesus was that fullfillment. Major and minor league prophets got notation. Jesus fit every bill. Quoted every quote.Find out why John said that "Jesus and his diciples went over the Brook at Kidron" it has its place in OT prophecy.
Its a clue as to how Jesus became the second person in the trinity.
Ok enuf said. I wrote that for all the people who want to be led politically by the gospel toting destroyers of nasty evil empires. Imagine this.
Ifeel so dumb. I am so bumd. I was sitting on a dirt hill in western new york state in 1972. It was spring so it was warm enough to be on the grass in the afternoon. The hills were bleak because the trees had been eliminated for corn for the cattle. I was about five miles from anywhere there was people and a grey tumbling down tack house was across the road from me. It was partly cloudy that day. I had this hatchet that I'd found along the road. It was all steel. It was rusty but all there. I remember the smell of the dirt as I kinda hacked away at grassy lump that was next to where I was sitting. Freshly dug up dirt has its own aroma. Its nice I guess if youre from the midwest and youre used to smellin that smell, especially in the spring. I liked that simplicity. Im dumb, I know it. I wanted to live in that gray shack and have a garden and a woodstove. I was 22 years old. I believed in Jesus so I prayed. The next thing I wound up doing was getting drunk. I was genetically attached to the worlds BIGGEST group of alcoholics. The Lithuanian cole Miners. I needed alcohol. Friends of mine today with liver disorders wonder why Im not in their condition. (Well {harumph} I have MY OWN CONDITION) I jes aint sufferin from cirhosis, or any herpes simplex's.
In 1974 was living in East Central New York and working at a sawmill. I had a wife and two kids. But we were poor. This really bothered my wife a lot. But more than that my weekend drunken jam sessions bothered her more. Until I got chubby. Then we separated.
More than ever I wanted that dirt house smell. But now I knew my future was sealed. I would owe and pay child support and be alone.
I nearly had it! I had the house started by a creek in the woods, and I had a pretty good paying job. Then I drank it away.
Which wound me up here where I am now. Not so bad.I believed in Jesus. You know there may be something to this Jesus thing. It JUST AIN'T WAR. At least war on the planet. Yesterday a black friend of mine stopped by. Hes an Ultra Orthodox Protestant. And he was on me about the US bein Gods Army to destroy Islam. I told him..."Don't you know what color the soldiers are who are over there?" Dont you know where theyre recruiting them from?"
some Marine General said the other day.."Its actually FUN to kill some people"
Well, unless YORE the person getting killed dood.
I wanted that dirt. Maybe thats my death wish. Maybe thats the smell of eternity calling me. In the spring it sure smells nice. I like new potatos and carrots, and onions and garlic fresh picked. I grow my own broccoli and brussels sprouts. Fresh picked and steamed they are OUTSTANDING. I play my guitar loud less and less. I like it soft and sweet. I like power chords...but quiet power chords. and the wash of an orchestral background. And the smell of dirt in the spring. Imagine that.

Saturday Night

I've been reading A.N. Wilson's book "jesus, a life" and its pretty interesting. I've reached his criticisim of the Johanine Gospel the non synoptic one. The one who if you pay careful attention to it has a section to fit any old testament prophecy and do that trick according to the annual feasts. mo later...
Bowe

Imagine

I am nothing. I just read Bill Nelsons website. I read a few days of his life. Shit, he's got tons of recording equipment, guitars, people interviewing him. He is of course excellent. He was Be Bop deluxe. He plays guitar and now that he is old he plays really great music. His 1990's music is extolled by Andre La fosse and deservedly so. I cant help it I was a drug addict! Do I suck that much? Dont answer that....I'm gonna write an album of orchestral music ONE and have it be perfect. Im starting it tonight.
goodnight.
I started it and I need much more inspiration. If you listen to some of the stuff I've put on my website you'll see that its plodding and hum drum. (thats because I broke the slingerlands down and put em in the basement.)I used the drum tracks off my 707II.
It doesnt work at all that way. I need to rebuild the kit and do all my stuff first and them add the drum tracks. But I had to break the ice.

My Kingdom Is not of this world

It is with the UTMOST sadness that I meet people who have a small faith in a God that was poor authoritative and direct, a sufferer who empathized with the suffering, and watch them get hornswaggled by some slick preacher or politician into supporting some insane program, public robbery, or general moral sleaze by invoking the name of God and associating their agenda with that diety's life death and meaning.
Whether college educated, or hayseed. A carefully thought out hornswaggle can ruin a lot of peoples generally stabilized daily security. An important benifit of the diety I have in minds gift, to his adherents. It has been duly noted long ago by heretics, that Jesus never said "I am the second person in a three part God." He never said "Mom was a virgin and remained so." Or did he say "Lets start a new religion,"
In fact 'science' at the time this diety happend to be and speak was so 'nothing' that it could be held in a thimble and ridden on a rollercoaster. The people of ancient Greece one in particular "Aristotle" imagined that the earth was covered by seven balls or dishes. and that if you went 'up' you broke that plane and wound up in some region of "The Heavens". Possibly, because of terrathermo activity, it was also held that 'sheol' or 'hell' was the hot pit below the surface dirt. I don't know this, it is my simple conjecture.
That a religious man, or even some clever author who invented a religious man who could tell beautiful parables, recite the beatitudes, and insist that he was the bread of life, and possibly die for the causes he created is refreshing to me. It gives me strength.
That a political leader can tell his countrymen that they need to die in order for their families to believe in this religious leader is at times not correct. That a church leader, in order to have nicer vacations, more stuff and a nicer house, tells the scratch to survive congregants of his area that they need to dig deeper into what they get and give more is to me robbery.
To create programs and policies that the preacher or the politician will not themselves be directly participating in is gross MISleading and deserves punishment of some form. Not reward.
Some folks historically needed to have Jesus be ressurected from the dead. They needed to have HIM ressurect people from the dead. AND they needed it to be written down so that future readers would believe this happened. Supposedly Jesus ressurected Lazurus his bud, a kid, a roman generals daughter. Nobody says if they went on to die again later or like Jesus himself was 'acended' into heaven. I repeated this from A.N. Wilson's book "Jesus A Life" cause its true and it needs repeating.
Jesus was for all the mothers up late wondering if Junior or Missy was still alive and well. He was for all the working stiff's who were on time, didnt steal, and if they did, told on themselves and made restitution. Jesus was for all the grandmas facing that dark night of eternity wondering if they'd know worms were working away on their carcasses. He was for all the puking drunks, and bleeding addicts who said "help me!" He was for all the political prisoners everywhere. He was for the guy who faced the IRS with fear knowing their ability to wipe him out. He was for all the people who the doctors shook their heads on and said "I cant do any more". He was for all the women who slept with men because they had no 'love' in their lives, and imagined that that was how to get it.
He wasnt for propping up crappy dictators, killing soldiers for profits, teaching third world cultures how to make styrofoam Christmas decorations. Or making some greedy hillbilly who could squint hard, rich.
Bowe

Valentines Day

The CEO of my Company David Sutherland and the Chief Financial Officer Avril Ifergothername
are going to do a webcast from our corporate headquarters in Lisle, Illinois. Mr. Sutherland and I go back to 1990 when this Iowa facility opened. We both at one point left the company briefly and returned. He went on to become CEO however. I went on to become a company nightmare. I still have in my possession a letter he wrote me when I quit back in 1991. The COO at that time Mylon Kasonovich told the workforce at a meeting that the company was going down the tubes and we needed to save ourselves. So I lost 18 months of senority cause I listened to him. Anyway I came back in 1992 and I believe Mr. Sutherland went back to University in Canada and he came back as a vice president in charge of buying and disbursing scrap and machinery and then onward and upward to become President, and CEO. His letter to me stated that he was sorry I'd left and that I would be welcome to return. So 6 months after I did leave I returned and have been there ever since.
Anyway. The meeting will be webcast at 9 am Central and you can watch them tell the fabulous news about last years earnings, our profit sharing take for 2004 year end (I heard its big) and the projections for 2005. I like know this dood. This to me is like being friends with an honest US President. (well maybe I'm going too far...) But its on the web at
www.ipsco.com and they'll be directions there for the webcast. This is like knowing John Deere after the business took off....
Bowe

Basketball and Death

Now theres a couple words ya dont normally see together that often. 'Sudden death' hangs out with 'basketball' and for a couple of different reasons, but not plain old death. I used to shoot baskets when I had the opportunity. It was fun. Like playin music in the 'zone' when they start dropping. I cant hardly walk sometimes these days much less jump. I have arthritis and I'm even gettin these wierd knobby lumps on my knuckles. Specially when it gets cold. I was thinkin the other day, that it wasnt that long ago I imagined I could jump and run fast and high forever. I thought why do old people quit that stuff? Some doctors who are also book writers say it doesnt have to be that way. I reckon with the correct dosage if vicodin and red wine they'd be right! Nah Im on the backside of 30. (uh huh) And like the man said before every dog has had his day.
Odd, even with some repeated warning I still smoked cigarettes well into my 30's and drank wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much liqour. I aint that I didnt care, its just that I was an addict. It started out with easter chocolate...then doughnuts, beer, cigarettes, WOMEN, pot, reds, crosses and then just beer. Beer, coffee, and cigarettes. If I've never said it before, I prolly shoulda died a long time ago, but every chance I got, I shot baskets. I think keepin it all shook up kept it going for a longer time. But, I aint no doctor and I cant write a book.
Bowe