Midnight Monday

Got sent home early again tonight. At this rate I'll not be able to pay the mortgage. Good thing I still have vacation hours...Ya gotta take the ups with the downs. I have four kids: the oldest is 28, this Nov. then 26 October, then 16 in Sept, and 13 in August. I performed this feat with 3 different women too. I steadily regressed a month on each kid and separated the first two by two years and the last two by three years. It was my plan all along to do this. I am after all a genius. The first two women divorced me because I am totally not able to be lived with. Plus the first wanted to support a guy with a drug habit, not an alcohol habit, and my working for a living was a problem for her. At least thats what she told me, but she lied so much, who knew? The second one divorced me because I told her father she'd had sex with a black person, and that really pissed him off. Well. I was drunk, and she was seeing a co worker. She had me thrown in jail and HE wanted them to throw away the key. Wed only been married two months. She loves men! What can I say. Anyway it was all fot the best. Except there were children involved, and child support, (which I can happily say I'm now caught up on all my arrears.) And there for a long time (about five years) I drank beer everyday until I passed out. Then I'd find some way to get more and get some more. I smoked pot too, but that made me EXTREMELY sentimental. So I quit that at an early age. (like 35 or so) After my second divorce with court appearances facing me I entered rehab for alcoholism. I haven't drank a drop since the day I was last arrested Dec. 25th 1987. Fortunately for me, I've found out that living sober is possible and it is also possible to have some fun too. I am still a wacko but Its under control pretty much. I started drinking seriously when I was about 16. Ma would pass out and leave a few behind. Id drink em for her. (No sense wasting it, when she sobered up and decided to rehab herself, and pour them down the kitchen drain) So when I finally had my last drink at 36 years and 5 months of age, I had pretty much drank continually for twenty years. Doctors told me I had cirrhosis of the liver, nowadays I've got diabetes (all that sugar! alcohol turns to sugar in the system that turns into tryglycerides, that turns into a beer belly), I've had two heart attacks, and cardiac bypass surgery. (a quad) I eat too much still, I dont exercise enough but I do do it sometimes. I swore off doughnuts because Im personally convinced that they will kill you quicker than meat will. Every one I know who died of heart attacks was a doughnut and Icecream junkie. I used to be as well. Beer and doughnuts. Sheesh....
Anyway I once upon a time lived in the Adirondack Park in Upstate New York. Had I known my first wife's avocation was to be true white trash, I would have tried considerably less hard to earn a living,albiet I still needed beer money. And baby needed a new para shoes. I remember the time they shut off the electricity. It was in midsummer and we would have been fine. But she screamed so loud her voice carried a country mile. Yes, she had the upper hand in the relationship because of certain of her genuine talents...(she has false teeth) and I wanted us to be a 'family' and was always looking for some way to get rich so that I could hand my sons a fine something, someday. But I was missing the point entirely. She wanted to SUPPORT a drug addict, and live on an Indian Reservation. LIKE DUH! Im half Lithuanian, and Half English! NO REDSKIN here. I just didnt know it and went on on the assumption that she wanted what I wanted. That was to get rich early in life and hand down something to the boys sometime. AND be drunk most of the time too. Hey! President Bush did it for godsake.
She left me for an Indian (native american) who drove the big rigs, until he lost it all to oxycontin. Now they live on the reservation, and shes and accountant for the place and they get a break on the rental for that reason. Wife number two, who i sired a daughter by, is still at work at her sales/account position for a prominent local appliance dealer. Ya cant talk to her she's a liar too. Out of one side of her mouth comes words, out of the other side comes more words but a different song. AND she can play classical piano, flute, bass, etc... but she cant jam. She has to have charts. She once directed two church choirs and was president of the local philharmonic. But she gave it all up to raise that lil girl. AND she had me sign a paper sayin that i would not be invited to her birthday parties and anything else AND I wouldnt owe any child support if I'd just sign these few papers.... I did. I signed, I was deeply indebt to the state of Maine over my back support to the first wife. SOOOOOOOOOOOO for twelve blissful years I lived my life knowing nothing of this childs life, etc....
Then one day there was a ringing at my doorbell. I was my EX! She had this tall young lady with her. She introduced me to Kelly. I was astounded! She looked like pictures of my mother when my mother was a young girl. Far out. Dope. the bomb. Kaboom. Well the ex called me aside and said the kid HAD been a model student, religious, obedient cheerful, etc... until recently. Nowadays she was stealing money, charging stuff on moms credit cards, sneaking off and smoking pot all because she didnt know her dad. I found out later that at 12 she'd been having a lot of sex, and enjoying it too... sort of remosefully, but nevertheless enthusiastically. Now that age is the time when sex is pretty new. And that makes it all the more exciting... etc... et al. So I statred paying some child support (it later turned out NOT to be enough, NOT even close) and having visitations at my home with wife number 3 (who I'd been married to for 11 years at that time) and daugher 4 who is the apple of my eye and all the things the others havent revealed. It was alas not to be and when the child was 14 I was in court in Illinois. Where if you revoke your parental rights the custodial spouse can REINSTATE you if her lawyer deems it a good and prosperous deal for her and the daughter.... It is real expensive at this juncture and because I insisted on therapy for the child I never see the child. Everything is just as it was for those 12 blessed years except now Im about 4 grand lighter a year. America. God. Justice. Lawyers. Sex. Results. Dumb?
Open your dictionaries right now and there beside the word STUPID, is my sweet face....
Bowe
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